This Is My Church.

Thursday, 19 January 2012

I feel an overwhelming need to inform you all that I, Lolli Mahon, have had an Epiphany. That's right I have found God. He has returned to Earth in burger form and His church is a place called MEATLiquor

MEATLiquor started life as MEATwagon, a burger van that flogged its meaty wares to die-hard foodies at gastro happenings nationwide. Until somebody nicked the van. The swines. To satisfy the carnivorous needs of their devotees the pair set up semi-permanent residence above a pub in New Cross serving up their meaty cult creations under the name of #MEATEASY. Following the unprecedented success of this operation Papoutsis and Collins decided to lay down roots and opened their first bone fide restaurant in the heart of Landan taaaaaan.

Concealed inside a brutalist premises behind the hustle and bustle of Oxford Street MEATLiquor manages to maintain its raw edge with a dark, illicit and almost unfinished feel to its interior. Basic wooden tables, mismatched seating and dim exposed-bulb lighting sit against walls plastered with zoological blood-splattered illustrations and raucous music. Whereas the sleazy, industrial atmosphere may be too much for some folk I bloody well LOVED it, in fact I’d go as far as to say that it's so far up my street it's practically ringing my doorbell!

My first port of call is the bar (standard) and as their mantra of “come hungry, leave drunk” implies the Liquor offering leaves little to be desired with an impressive list of bevvies longer than both my arm and the food menu. It’s a struggle to choose a drink from their tongue-in-cheek, no-nonsense selection – did I fancy a Donkey Punch (a voddie-based cocktail with an Absynthe rinse), a Time Of The Month (a twist on a classic Bloody Mary, eeew) or a glass of Les Nuages Rose (a vino described as “not up it’s own arse”)? True to my Irish roots I opt for the House Grog, a drink so potent that it’s limited to two glasses per diner, I managed to down three. Not big OR clever. But definitely fun.

Now on to the main event people, please put your hands together for the star of the show, the MEAT. My friends and I, who lovingly refer to eachother as fatties, have one rule when it comes to food – go in or go home – and boy did we go in. First up, a generous heap of meaty and moreish BBQ Wings accompanied by a blue cheese dip that is so God damn yummy I practically licked it’s paper container clean. Next came the burgers, the thick, sloppy, juicy burgers, beside a mountain of fluffily battered onion rings and bowls of finger-licking fries. All are served up on a paper-clad metal tray to absorb the grease, no knives, forks or plates here I'm afraid, just a simple roll of kitchen towel to mop up the mess. Yeeeah buddy! ‘The MEATwagon Original’ was my burger of choice, a pure beef patty piled high with cheese, lettuce, tomato and pickles, a burger so incredibly tasty that the first bite may or may not have caused my legs to give an involuntary tremble. Oh er. My partner in fatty crime picked the 'Double Bubble' a burger that does EXACTLY what it says on the tin. 2 chunky patties smothered in cheese, French mustard, Tommy ketchup topped with onions, pickles and shredded iceburg lettuce. Dripping with grease or as I like to call it, meat sweat, the Double Bubble is basically a heart attack in a bun. Worth it.

The verdict on this salad-dodgers sanctuary?... 
MEATLiquor absolutely lived up to the hype and then some. Heart-racing, breathless and with cheeks a-glow their huge portions left me satisfied, content and gagging for more. The environment, although maybe not to everyone’s tastes, is delectably dystopian and the price? a bargain at £20-£25 per person for a burger, drink and all the trimmings. A word to the wise though, MEATliquor’s revered reputation and no-reservations policy almost guarantees a queue post 6.30pm, get there early to avoid a long wait and a Nazi at the door.

All hail MeatLiquor. I defy you to find a better burger in Blighty. 


  1. Replies
    1. Jazzy it is incredible. PLEASE go there and worship at the alter of MEATLiquor. xxx

  2. OMG such food envy! I read about this on Hollow Legs but my god, the pictures! I need to drag a friend here asap!

    1. Kb the pictures do it ZERO justice... Get down there pronto xx